I’ve been trying to get a photo of this hunter of the skies for a very long time.
I often see it when it’s too late, in the midst of its steep dive onto its prey, for a while I believed someone was operating a drone and dropping it to ground quickly, but then realized its a raptor of some sort.
It lurks very high, floating when it can in wind gusts, scanning below, often turning its head completely to study the space beneath, and then it happens…wings fold, it drops from the sky at an angle, opening, adjusting wings to stay on course, and then, gone below the tree line where I am certain it gets its prey…
I’m blessed to look to my left each morning and see a sight different from the day before but always a perfect picture painted by the creator.
This window is one of the reasons I bought this place, each room has one, I forget the exact dimensions but I’m thinking 9’ wide by 4’ high, or something close to that?
We get the sunrise each morning, the lightning in a storm, ironically we cannot hear any rain and only the loudest of thunder claps.
Most importantly to me it is a constant reminder of the beauty of this earth and that segue’s my thoughts to the appreciation of the creator.
It’s not always this nice. It can be rainy and windy, but that always departs to bring with it another painting of beauty.
As it is in life, adversities followed by happiness and better days, and the cycle continues…
Got a great phone call just now. Bob, who I mentioned on the podcast, had the tumor on his kidney removed yesterday in surgery.
He was the best man in my wedding, great guy. He has been very worried ever since getting his diagnosis.
His phone call to me just now, they got the tumor, he won’t be needing chemotherapy or radiation.
The adversity (the storm outside obscuring the blue sky and sun ), the great news of a successful surgery (the storm gone, the awesome view of the sunrise), this is life we all deal with each day.
In all of my funky analogies and the way I see things, it helps keeping me grounded in my faith in God and how God is always present in everything surrounding us, even when it doesn’t seem so.
We will all go through the storm, and sometimes it’s incredibly hard when we do. During those times it’s really hard to believe God would allow us to go through such things alone, but in truth God is there, with us.
It’s been a rough three weeks with life happening around me. But all is well once again…
And for that…I give thanks for everyone and everything in my life…
Going through the shots at the end of the day I came across this one and wondered…who is she…this woman to the right…looking out of the window of the train she sits within that sped past me…
I could swear our eyes met for an instant and in that same instant…she was gone.
We encounter people like this all of the time and typically I wouldn’t give it a second thought until that precise moment showed up in an image I happen to have taken, this image.
Early-to-mid twenties I’d guess? A grad student heading to university? Working towards a Doctorate? Is she happy? Sad? Married? Single? Kind? Nasty?
It’s all part of a game I play sometimes trying to figure people out, even if I only catch a glimpse of them on a speeding train. I can’t help but wonder who they are, these strangers who pass us by each day…
Recording the next episode currently…hopefully released by Thursday or Friday. Was planning on Monday but life happens. But looking forward to the new system, more organized, more of a road map for me instead of just four wheeling the show and knowing where I have to end up and taking any road I want to get there.
Ok, it’s a beautiful day, I have to get going. Have a great day yourself. Talk to you soon! Tony
I’m sitting on my balcony right now watching the landscaping crew put mulch down. It’s a beautiful day out, actually a little cold, but I am typically out here on this balcony with the camera and a pad and pen or in this case today, the laptop.
Going through some recent photos of a trip to the UK with my daughter, I came upon this picture of a food truck along the Thames.
I remember being there and thinking ‘I want one of everything they sell here.’
I was starving, and couldn’t figure out if it was going to be the hotdog deal, or the hot waffles, or a donut or five, and some ice cream.
As I was trying to decide I heard my daughter call me, she was at a food cart behind me ordering food, she ordered for me, fish and chips. I laughed and walked towards her.
London was like that for me. All types of food that I’d like to try, some I did and wished I hadn’t and other meals, they were very similar to anything I could get back home.
Take for instance Chicken Tikka Masala…In three weeks time I’ll be you we had that more than half the time. I don’t know why. It was good, quick, filling, it just worked. My daughter isn’t a foodie. I’m not certain if I am. She’s more of a ‘food is for sustenance’ person and not a social eater. Me, food is always a party.
I turned around and snapped this photo before I walked away. I figured I could always return here whenever I want with the pic.
Fish and Chips and Chicken Tikka Masala…I’m pretty certain that covered it for me in the UK, and of course tea and biscuits or some sort. We had tea everyday, which was pretty cool to take time out and relax, and drink tea.
We were drinking the tea one day and suddenly a fist fight broke out in front of the store. Yeah, two well dressed men starting throwing hands at each other.
“You think it was the tea?” I asked my daughter.
“I think it’s possibly what they may have put in the tea, Dad,” she said.
Down on the ground they went.
“That big guy is slow with the fists,” I said.
“He’s leaving his left open, oh, there is was, that had to hurt,” I continued.
“You wanna play you’re gonna pay,” I said ‘Look at that tear on his knee. Ouch,’ I grinned. ‘Do we have to pay extra for this?’ I said. My daughter shaking her head at me.
In no time they were on their feet, hugging each other, sloppy drunk I guessed, they’d pay for it the next morning with the pains they’d both feel, I was certain.
The mulching is finished. Ten guys tossing mulch and that will happen quickly. You can smell it all the way up here on the seventh floor. The trees are beginning to bud. They say this is the year of the cicada’s hatching after seventeen years?
I could swear they said this a few years ago. Maybe they hatch in waves, or divisions, like the NFC and the AFC, and they alternate years or something, needless to say, I personally can’t wait for them to hatch. I really enjoy the noise they make, like flying miniature rattlesnakes, they are, except for the poison bite or any bite for that matter, just the rattling noise.
Can you imagine that, if rattle snakes flew? That would not be a good thing. Yes, just rambling on today. The rest of the household recieved the Covid vaccine yesterday and they aren’t feeling well today, so I’m out here, just thinking, and suddenly two more trucks show up with even more mulchers.
They have their own mulching army right now, it’s impressive. I’m thinking our mulching army could beat up the mulchers I passed down the street earlier in the day. I wonder if they play each other in football or soccer? Landscaping wars, kind of. They should if they don’t now.
Wait a minute…they are all sitting down…this is an organized sit down…oh…wait a minute…they are now eating. It’s their lunch time, they are just lunching.
Hang on a minute. The Citizen App is texting me. It’s the final day for walk-up vaccines in Philly. It goes by zip code, you live in a certain zip code you can go, but it still goes by phases, so just because you live in that code you still need the phase or you aren’t getting the shot, you get that? Code, then phase, condition, then shot, no cheating.
Ever miss someone? I’m missing someone right now. Haven’t seen them in a very long time. Life just happens like that sometimes. We go off certain ways. One minute we are hanging out, then suddenly it’s decades later and you’re sitting on your balcony wondering what the hell happened?
Things change. People change. Sometimes we make decisions and those choices cause change. Basically everything in life changes, nothing stays the same.
I’ve been missing a few people lately, my parents, a few friends that have passed away, and I’m thinking how crazy this ride has been, life, thirty-four years old and diagnosed with the heart problem, basically becoming so absorbed with that in my life, worrying about my wife and children, would I be here for them in the future, how would they get to college, how would we afford it, how will I keep my home, what would we do…
I remember so many sleepless nights laying in bed staring at the ceiling through the darkness, as the rest of the world slept as I wondered how things happen, and why, praying for time, just more time…and nothing more…
Years passed and suddenly I was forty, and honestly, I don’t remember much about years thirty-four to forty, it’s like I was somewhere else and I felt so cheated and hoped I hadn’t cheated the others in my life I care about by being that constant reminder that things aren’t going well for us.
We think that way sometimes, like we are burdens…
And in all that worry, all of those years…my oldest graduated college three years ago and my youngest daughter graduates college in a few months.
People say to me ‘You did and excellent job in raising your girls.’
I reply…I didn’t do anything but support them in anything they wanted to do.
Somehow in all of that adversity, things just worked themselves out…or…that was the plan all along, I just didn’t know anything about it? The one thing I did do was trusted the process, you know, the one where you have faith in your higher power that things will work out for the best? That one?
Sometimes we have to sacrifice who we are, for what we are called to be. That’s the way I look at it. I know I am being vague here, but honestly, that’s the best way to describe it for me. I prayed about things. I mean, I prayed my ass off…for my kids to be healthy and not have what I have, for them to not be affected by the adjustments we had to make in our lives, for them to be strong independent women not afraid to go forward in life and go after what they want…
You know, that ice cream in that food truck looked really good the more I think about it. I’d have ordered a vanilla and chocolate twirl on a cone. I can never make up my mind when it comes to desserts, yeah, vanilla and chocolate would have been the call.
Hey, where the heck did the mulchers go? Their trucks are all still here…I guess they are over in the visitors parking lot. They really do a great job here.
I’m kind of glad I don’t have to do that any longer, and the lawn, and the leaves, all of it. Age in place, that’s why I am here, in a condo, eighty feet in the sky above the tree tops overlooking the Delaware Valley in Pennsylvania in my little piece of heaven…the creek, sun is glistening off of the surface as it ripples over the rocks…
Yup…if you’d of asked me when I was thirty-four where I’d be in my late fifties, I am afraid I would have said St. Peter and Paul Cemetery with the rest of my family.
Then again, I never thought I’d get to London, or any of the places I’ve been to.
I’m thinking when God has a plan for us, there isn’t anything or anyone that can stop it’s progress, and when we are uncertain about our direction, maybe we just pray about it?
A chocolate and vanilla twist and a donut. That’s my final order, that’s what I’d of gotten for sure…
Never gets old when I see any aircraft in the sky. Always take the time to stand in awe at the concept of manmade flight. Standing on the Delaware River just below Wilmington, DE when I spotted this aircraft.
One of the countless spots you can pull over in Iceland and just take it all in. This massive glacier miles away, probably looking the same as it did thousands of years ago. This place, Iceland, is a beautiful place.
Working on the anxiety. Social anxiety is something I’ve always had although mostly everyone who’s ever known me would not believe it for a second.
Doing a podcast talking to thousands of people. Playing music in a band on stage back in the day, not the places you’d think someone with this issue would be participating.
But it’s true. I feel very awkward in front of people. When in the band, singing, playing guitar, I couldn’t wait until I was off the stage.
This video is about overcoming that. It’s the beginning of a process of me dealing with what I’ve dealt with my entire life, GAD, sometimes paralyzed by this anxiety.
Fear…stage fright if you will…public speaking…all of it…inside I’m yelling at myself to get off the stage…shut the camera off…and simultaneously I’ve got my hand on my back saying ‘You got this, Dude! One step at a time!’
I’m Tony, by the way, the face behind the voice of Finding Subjects Podcast.
You can click on the menu about and find my show. I talk about these types of life events.
Thank you for your time and apologies in advance for any mistakes I make!